either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I've blown a few things in my day
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
