If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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