So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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