gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
