It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
