ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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