So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
