I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Farmville is her only friend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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