Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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