the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
