According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
