belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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