Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
