Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
