it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Two words: blizzard sex
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
