Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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