She's JV to your varsity
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
