naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have tasted many bathrooms
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
