if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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