She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
