dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I need a beard to bite.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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