I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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