I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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