Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
