It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize