His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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