we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
