Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
