Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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