i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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