i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
