You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
