3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
