Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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