whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize