my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Bring me that man meat
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
