I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
