I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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