I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
