i just wanna soil my oats bro
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
