I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What a dumb baby whore.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
