Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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