Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
