i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize