I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
