he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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