Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
