he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
