I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
