dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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