This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
