what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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