And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Couch. On fire.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
