i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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