you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
