drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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