I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
