So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
