My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
