I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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