Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
