with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
