he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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