Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
