We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
