two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
