I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
