so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
