im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
