Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
