just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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