We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
