I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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