well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
